poem due to insomnia

My friend had a rock clearly labeled confidence
I used it to bash my brain out for my two cents
gaining a powerful ally is never this easy
in retrospect the feeling was queasy
there are those who try to slow down progress
there are those who try to stop installments
and then there are those who are blessed
who fight through and pay the rent
it hard times in past present and future tense
if you solve riddles you might gain confidence
but for me I lost it after looking into the distance
where the grass is greener, but its subsistence
is through assistance and persistence.
What a meaningless existence
the nihilist cried and then laughed
while on the Muslims' behalf
What is the riddle that I was looking for
was it why aging is a chore?
or why can't I find someone I adore?
to the heavens I implored
but no more.
I gave up asking that question
I suggest a change in direction
just accept what you have
whether or not you are glad
and if its bad its bad
and if its sad its sad
but don't get mad
this existence
is all we have.